Four Months: But then, We Never Expected Perfection


Walter’s heart is not perfect, but he fits into our lives perfectly.

Each year on January 22, millions across the country “March for Life” on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade – the decision federally legalizing abortion. An appeal of this would return the decision to the hands of each state individually. The largest march, taking place in Washington DC each year, seems to be appropriately met with cold, dreary weather reminiscent of a Dicken’s novel, as if recognizing the cold, dreary reality of abortion.

The day struck me especially hard this year as a new mother, and even more, as a mother who many would deem “justified” in terminating my own child.

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He may not live.

He will know pain at a young age.

He will have multiple surgeries.

He will have limitations.

He may have a decreased quality of life.

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He may have a shorter life.

He may have any number of complications.

He may have developmental delays.

He will have a lifetime of medications, doctors appointments, and procedures.

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In other words: Walter’s life will not be “perfect”; but then we never expected it to be so.

The reasons above are all considered “valid” reasons for abortion, among any number of other situations where perfection has fallen short: circumstance, timing, financial shortcoming, and so on. But this – even among so many claiming a “Pro-Life” position, is the ultimate trump: medical precaution.

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Though I have alluded to it many times, I have never detailed how our doctors were obligated to discuss abortion with me once Walter’s defect was diagnosed, because it was, and remains still, an open and stinging wound. Alone, with my husband asked to leave the room without opinion, I signed multiple forms acknowledging my understanding of Walter’s defects and my “abortive rights”.   I can only imagine how many women have felt in more desperate situations and of more desperate circumstance, when learning of this deemed “imperfect” life within them.

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Suddenly, my much wanted and anticipated child was devalued by the State. A mere imperfection of heart somehow made him less a person, less needed, less cherished, and less worth raising. How, might I ask, will this be handled should we find a cancer gene, an IQ factor, or find more indicators of an adult’s life detectable in utero? We stand on the brink of a society and government which determines who should live and who should die based on their anatomy and DNA. How far is that than a quest for blonde hair and blue eyes? How, at the slightest glimpse of “falling short” do we consider execution?

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But then, we never expected perfection, anyway.

For our perfection is found not on this Earth.

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So there you have it: our smiling, thriving, lovable four-month old. Edging on 12 pounds, growing too long for his clothes, and brightening my days with his laughter. Every day is a gift with our imperfectly perfect little angel.

Wally’s appointments have been going as well as they could, so we are still in a waiting game until the appropriate time is pin-pointed for his full repair.

We’ve been enjoying some beautiful Southern California January weather here, and though the sun may deceive you, the air still has a crispness to it characteristic of our winter months.

We played in the grass in white denim, felt the dew, and enjoyed discovering what feet can do. Walter loves touching EVERYTHING, and is as curious as he is cute. (Which in my book, is just about infinite.) We refuse to let a day go by without a sense of awe and fascination for one another and the world around us.

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15 thoughts on “Four Months: But then, We Never Expected Perfection

  1. So glad Walter is doing well, and your family appreciates your time together and it is filled with abundant love. Every person is different and so too are the circumstances of their life. What is the right choice for one is not necessarily the the right choice for another. Until you walk in another’s shoes and experience the same circumstances, you cannot know how you would act or feel. It is not for us to judge or decide what is right for another. We all live with the choices we make.

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    • It saddens me that you can be so callous as to find the taking of a life merely a choice: there is nothing relative about it. If you do not wish to follow my blog, I am not offended. But I am unabashedly, and unapologetically against abortion and I will judge it as an evil institution. I do hold a value system which directs me towards right and wrong: there is a line I will not cross. Your position is not an empowering nor beautiful one.

      I also want to add that the post does not condemn those who have chosen abortion. Rather, I seek to add to the voices of many who have “been in the shoes”, and among the experiences and circumstances of which you speak – and how we do walk around each day with the living proof of our choices: our children.

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  2. The Gratitude I feel having you as my daughter is only matched by the love I have for you, Dan, and Walter! Thank You for loving Walter enough to give birth to him and raise him as he is. Perfection is the enemy of the good. You are good.
    Love, Granny-T ❤ ❤ ❤

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  3. Hello Frances,
    We met at Christmas with the Klimases. I so agree with your stand on abortion. I quit my first nursing job because I was being required to work on the “teen abortion wing”. Thank you for letting me hold and feed Walter that day. You all, Dan, you and Walter are in my prayers daily. Please give him a kiss for me.
    Betty Schneider

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  4. I always find your spirit and faith uplifting even when faced with the decisions that have been thrown at you. Wally is a beautiful child and he is lucky to have two loving parents. I look forward to reading the continued growth and progress of your son and the many adventures you all will share.

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  5. Frances,
    We haven’t met yet but Molly is one of my most cherished friends and both Dan and Liz were best friends with my children until they moved from Ohio. I can’t wait to meet you! You are an inspiration! A dedicated, loving, fierce protector of your child from the day he was concieved. Thank you for sharing your journey, strength and convictions! Thank you for valuing life over perfection. Prayers are continuing for you and your beutiful family.
    Chris Peterson

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  6. What a beautiful post, Frances. May I share it with my Christian friends who will pray for Wally as he continues to live in God’s Grace, and your loving arms. What a beautiful little boy who will have a message for the world!

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